Saturday, July 28, 2007

I Need a Maid

You wouldn't think it would take an entire day to clean a 750 sq. foot apartment. Well, it did.

My apartment had reached that point where there was no surface space on the countertops (bathroom or kitchen), and there were magazines, hairballs and dust everywhere else. I would arrive home, and just go "Ugh, GROSS". As if someone else was responsible for creating the mess. My main problem is that I never have people over. My friends all have very cute, well-located condos, and we always go over to their places. I really don't have a reason to clean. I needs me a reason.

My reason, this time, is completely embarrassing. I ran into the Cute Guy, that lives in my building, on Thursday. He introduced himself, and asked if I lived on the top floor. I said "noooo, um, the middle one", in a very vague, distracted way - as I was thinking "oh crap, what if he is like Friendly Neighbor Cute Guy, who just pops over to borrow sugar or something?" I mean, NOW I wouldn't mind, but on Thursday, my apartment resembled a crack den. A very messy crack den. You know, without the crack. His apartment must have been clean, because he said "Oh, I'm in 102". Clearly not worried about me popping over to borrow sugar.

So, I woke up Saturday, nervous and paranoid, listening for knocks on the door, and started with the bathroom. It takes me all day long to clean, because I tire easily when cleaning. I really am terribly lazy. Scrub countertop, scrub toilet, sweep floor, and oh my God I need to rest. I end up playing a type of bargaining game with my apartment: a half hour for YOU, Bathroom, a half hour (of eating breakfast and watching "That's So Raven") for ME; a half hour for YOU, Bedroom, an hour (of reading Marie Claire and InStyle) for ME; and so on and so on.

It is truly pathetic that I take great pride in telling everyone, at dinner Saturday night, that I cleaned my apartment! I think it takes normal people like 3 hours or something. And, to be totally honest, I didn't really clean the kitchen.

I'll have to keep the sugar close to the door.