Monday, August 6, 2007

I Need to Move

Um, yeahhhhh. So let's talk about this for a second. I have had some absolutely ridiculous "dates" since I've lived here in Seattle, and while I'm sure that there are some really great guys here... Somewhere? The lasting impression has been that I should probably move away, if I ever hope to meet anyone really fantastic. Let me give you a "for example".

I remember being out at a bar, The Garage, for a friend's birthday, a few years ago, and met a guy I thought was cute. Let's call him Ryan. He was with his friend, who we'll call Allan, who was hitting on my friend, who we'll call Allison - since that's really her name. Allison, Allan and Ryan all went to the same law school, so there was much to talk about. Everything seemed to be going fairly well.

A few of us decided to change venues and go to a dance club. We invited Allan and Ryan, although honestly didn't think they'd accompany us, as most straight guys are not all that fond of dance clubs...

Wonder of wonders, they showed up! Allison and Allan seemed very into each other, and they were chatting away in a private corner, and a few of my other girlfriends and I were out on the dance floor (whoop whoop - holla at me! Can you picture it now?).

The next thing I know, Ryan comes out on the floor and gets all up in my bidness. I mean ALL up in there. He was basically grinding on me like an itchy dalmatian, and it just seemed very weird and inappropriate. I may have tolerated that, like 10 years ago, I don't know? This time it was just awfully creepy and weird. We had spent a bit of time in actual normal conversation at the previous bar, and this kind of behavior was more something a total stranger would try. A totally pervy, total stranger.


Like "Oooheyy - laaaaaaaaaady on the dance floor - can you FEEL me?"

Erm, yeah, I could actually.

So the window of opportunity passed for Ryan, and I - as politely as possible, given the awkward circumstances - danced away from him, and asked my friends if they were ready to leave? Can we? Right now? Please? Okay good.

So here we are, in 2007, and I am having a beer with Friendly Neighbor Cute Guy in his apartment, and we're doing the small-talk thing, and talking about people we know in common...

I mention Allison, who had graduated from the same law school he had, and he gets a strange look on his face, and says "I know Allison... and she knows my friend Allan...didn't we meet you guys at the Garage one night?"

Yeah. That's him.

Are we ready to leave? Can we? Right now? Please?


Please.