Friday, August 3, 2007

Slow Summer Day

Why does it feel like absolutely nothing is happening right now (other than the horrible Minneapolis bridge collapse - horrible, horrible, horrible - and Ving Rhames dog attack - also horrible, horrible, horrible)? I haven't been watching TV this week, so maybe that's it...and Lindsay Lohan has not been photographed crashing a car, while not wearing underpants, for over a week now...

I'm bored.

So bored, that I am now forced to talk about why I caved, and ate a "delicious Subway sub sandwich"*, and two cookies today - AND did not enjoy either (bread was gross - do not order "Roasted Garlic" under any circumstances - cookies were stale - ate them anyway - wasted calories - annoying).

*Due to overexposure to Subway television commercials with Jared, cannot merely say "Subway sandwich", but must say "delicious Subway sub sandwich" - ask anyone I work with.

Why I caved:

Coworker Lori is out of office today, and one of her clients phoned in to ask "some" questions. At 11:40AM.

(how did she find a photo of a clock that says 11:40??? she's amazing! Thanks.)

Normally, I am happy to answer a few questions on behalf of out-of-office coworkers, and the phone conversation finishes within 5 minutes. But not when the client is Marilyn Sparks (not her actual name, but sounds a lot like it), and not when my lunch is at 12:00N and it's 11:40AM and I'm starving.

After suggesting that Lori give her a call, first thing Monday - when she's back, Marilyn asked if I could answer "some" questions for her. Inaudible exasperated sigh - "sure". Following which Marilyn proceeded to ask me every possible question in the history of question-asking, including, but not limited to:
  • why do people want to travel to Antarctica, Alaska and the Arctic? (since I speak for all people, everywhere, this should be quite simple to answer...)

  • what are the differences in those three destinations*? (this is akin to asking what the differences are between ANY three destinations in that they are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PLACES) To be fair, this is a perfectly legitimate question for the average bear to ask - no pun intended (there are bears in both the Arctic and Alaska - but not Antarctica) - however, clients who call us have usually already decided that they want to visit one of these destinations - why? Ask them. The reasons are myriad.

  • what would I be missing if I went to Antarctica instead of Alaska? (you would be missing a trip to Alaska...)

  • how long has your company been in business? (7 years)

  • what is your job title? (Program Manager - although not your Program Manager)

  • what is Lori's job title? (also Program manager - YOUR Program Manager)

This went on for a full twenty minutes, and in between questions, after I had answered her most recent inquiry, she would pause, as if searching for something else to ask me about. Anything else. It was as if she was trying to keep me on the phone as long as possible - as if my phone voice was so magnetic (it really is), she could not bear the thought of LETTING ME GO SO I COULD EAT MY LUNCH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SHE IS NOT EVEN MY CLIENT.

Ergo - delicious Subway sub sandwich that was in no way delicious, and two cookies - also not delicious. Pffft.