Tuesday, August 28, 2007

What Are They Teaching in The Land Of Cotton?

Oh my God, you guys. I don't really know what to do with this. I have now watched it 5 times in a row, and my eyebrows are still soaring up under my hairline, and my mouth has been in a petrified "O" for the past four and a half minutes.

What I WANT to do is to sell her these very expensive designer magic beans I've been saving in a shoebox in my closet.

But what she probably needs is a hug, for the humiliating fallout of that moment; and a seat in Mrs. Pihl's kindergarten class - preferably right up next to the board - for everything else she has very clearly missed throughout her school years.

I have been reading several blogs on the subject of Miss Teen South Carolina's platform on "U.S. America's" learning, and there seem to be three - pardon the pun - schools of thought on the subject:

1) Oh, the poor girl - she's just a teenager, and was on TV, and must have been so nervous! (this view was a miniscule minority - possibly 2 out of 50 commentors).

2) Miss Teen South Carolina is most definitely one of those 20% of Americans who are unable to locate the United States on a map.

3) That girl is hot and who cares if she can even tie her own shoes? (I am loathe to say that this was a solid 50% response from the commentors - from HotAir.com)

As Otto, from "A Fish Called Wanda", would say..."what was that middle one again?" The middle one was my reaction, and it is just a sad sad thing. On my second viewing, I listened very carefully to the question, and tried to imagine what my response would have been, upon hearing that 1/5 of Americans cannot locate their own country on a map. And it would have been something like "Are you kidding? You're kidding right? Am I being Punk'd? Where did you get that information?", all the while leaning away from Slater, who would have been trying to lick my earlobes and rub up against my sequined gown.