Thursday, September 20, 2007

Ellie Gets Hitched

For my sister's wedding on Sunday (I abhor the word "nuptials" and refuse to use it in a sentence. Except right there - that sentence - where I said I wouldn't use it.), I am going to be wearing THIS in "Ruby Red". I would prefer to wear THIS (also in Ruby Red), which is what my OTHER sister gets to wear. Bridesister did not want us to wear the same dress.

I'm sure she is being diplomatic and hoping to avoid the inevitable media coverage* and resulting "Who Wore It Best" polls. But since both dresses are Ruby Red, we will have something like this:

Who Wore Red Best?!

And to be in fair competition, my sister and I will have to grab the microphone and belt out a few bars of "Red Hot Mama" so that voters can experience the full effect.

Bridesister will be covering face in horror, thinking "I thought the microphone was just for the toasts?"

*When I say "media coverage", I mean my father, standing off to the side, with his 1962, 50-pound, 35mm camera, with lens cap still on, shouting "Goddammned kids - hold still - where's the focus on this thing?"