Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Whassat? More About My Sister's Wedding?

I knew you were dying to hear more about it.

Ellie & Pete's Wedding Weekend By The Numbers:

Weddings - 1 (also the number of wedding cakes that were 1 hour late, and caused minor panic with Bride)

Inappropriate, lecherous uncles in attendence - 2 (remember to send copies of Emily Post for Christmas. "How'd you all get such great asses?", maybe not the best conversation opener during the cocktail hour...)

Unfamiliar faces - too many to count. I'll guess 23. (I'll also guess that 23 really isn't too many to count, unless you're a toddler.)

Headaches incurred, trying to remember unfamiliar faces' names - more than too many. Probably 24. (See above for explanation of "isn't too many".)

Occurences of cousin Lars telling us he was "zipped"* - 27 ("Zipped" being Lars' synonym for "drunk" - completely unrelated to the condition of Lars' pants. Although, they were zipped as well.)

Times everyone mentioned how groom's brother, Andy used to have a crush on bride's sister, Jessie - 34 (Andy was incredibly good sport, as any normal person would have snapped after 10th mention of crush).

Glasses of wine consumed at wedding - no idea. It was "just the one" glass, that was repeatedly filled by the nice catering staff. I was pretty "zipped" as well.

Times I was asked to "help with the dishes" over the course of the weekend - ZERO! Hooray Mom!!!

Someone add all those numbers up and make some sort of clever math problem with them. I was told there'd be no math with blogging.