Monday, October 1, 2007

The Biggest Loser - Britney Spears

Things I am out of:

1) caffeine-free Diet Coke

2) cereal

3) dental floss

4) patience with the bullshit that substitutes for Britney Spears' behavior

This week's episode of "The Biggest Loser" will be dedicated entirely to Britney Spears, who, in the past few years, has managed to lose:

Justin Timberlake


Her single status


Her shoes


Her underpants


Her mind


Her hair


Her shit

Her groove



And now, custody of her kids


I am finding it monumentally challenging to muster any pity for Ms. Britney, due to repeated statements, from just about everyone, that she is stubbornly refusing to accept help from those who care about her. Nope, y'all, DANG! Shut up! I knows what I'm doin!

Listen, Not-A-Girl-Not-Yet-A-Woman. It's time to get to the Yet-A-Woman part now. Once you decide to have kids, it isn't all about you anymore.

This:


is Not-A-Father-Figure, and definitely Not-Yet-A-Man. That's my prerogative. GET SOME HELP!