Saturday, October 6, 2007

Different Types of Porn

This post is going to be a shattering disappointment for you Jenna Jameson fans.

Wardrobe porn:


If you haven't seen "Rear Window", I highly recommend it. Grace Kelly's ensembles are astoundingly flawless.

The movie's not bad either.

Hairstyle porn:


We want what we cannot have. If I attempted this cut, I would be mistaken for the love child of Animal-from-the-Muppets and Diana Ross.

Residential porn:

It's Italian. It matches my shoe porn.

Shoe porn:



Yeah. You've seen these before.

Vacation porn:

Barbados, breezy, balmy, barefoot, buncha other words that start with "b".

Beverage porn:


I read some random comment a guy made that was all "Dude, mojitos are so 2003". Mojitos aren't over until I say they're over. They just taste too good. You know what can be over? Syrup of ipecac.

Catalogue porn:


Those crazy kids at Abercrombie & Fitch. Always focusing on the clothes.

Chocolate porn:

Does anyone remember when Starbucks used to have that chantico drink? It was literally melted chocolate in a cup.

It's probably best they don't have that anymore.