Tuesday, October 9, 2007

The Tuesday Night Bender - For Facebook People

Okay, so you know how I usually spend my Tuesday nights? On the treadmill, working out with The Biggest Losers?

Well, tonight, instead of working off the two giant cookies I ate for dessert, I got sucked into what has to be the closest thing to a morphine drip on Facebook. The Traveler IQ Quiz.

DAMMIT! Just writing that phrase down makes me furious. I would like the last 3 hours of my life back, please. "The Biggest Loser" was on, in the background, but I didn't even notice. And, apparently, this was a Very Special Episode, and they went to Jamaica or something.

"Jamaica", was one of the answers on my STUPID TRAVELER IQ QUIZ. It was one of those quiz things where there's a map, and a city name pops up and you have to race to click on the where the city is located, on the nameless map - because SPEED COUNTS! And there are levels. Twelve levels. After Round eighty-two (I might be exaggerating, but my cramped back and carpal tunnel would beg to differ), I finally broke through Level 11, but could not complete Level 12 because of West Africa.

My Achilles heel in the Travel IQ game seems to be West Africa. And the Caribbean, because who really knows exactly where all those little islands are? They are somewhere south of Cuba, and as long as someone else is flying the plane, I think it's okay not to know PRECISELY where they are located.

Can you tell I'm all agitated, and dehydrated, and have had to go to the little girl's room for the last hour or so? Every time I get to that last screen, Travel IQ Quiz somewhat reluctantly apologizes to me, and explains that they cannot promote me to Level 12, because I do not have enough points. And then they give me the "choosing" buttons, three of which say some inane nonsense, but the important button says:


See? Just like the morphine drip - press that little button and you get MORE.

You can't see me right now, but I'm close to tears.

I have chosen to blame my frazzled, harried, strung-out state on Ted, Kerry's brother. Ted's Facebook page had the stupid Travel IQ Quiz. It is Ted's fault that I am not Overlord of Travel IQ Quiz (he is ranked 1st, and I'm 2nd). It is Ted's fault I totally ignored "The Biggest Loser", and now have no idea how much weight everyone lost, or who injured themselves, or who Jillian yelled at - but out of love.

And it will be Ted's fault when my pants don't fit next week.

(Ed. note: being overly dramatic. Am fairly certain that one missed workout will not cause pants to rebel and squish me into lumpy, sausage-pants girl.)

But look at how totally ripped Jillian is. It's insane. She most definitely does not allow herself to waste three hours, clicking furiously on some virtual map of the world, while the cookies settle into her problem areas. I am pretty sure Jillian has completely annihilated any problem areas she may have had. (Did you know, that is really how you spell "annihilated"? I had to look it up.)

So, for the time being, I am left to be satisfied with Level 11, and ranking of "Superior". Although, Ted is also ranked "Superior", so there may not actually be an "Overlord" category...
If you are on Facebook, I dare you to try to surpass the Gretta Overlord you should check it out.

It actually is a fantastic crash-Geography lesson. Although I still have no idea why Guyana, French Guyana, and Guinea can't all just be right next to each other.