Tuesday, November 6, 2007

My Dad For President


Since my Grown-Up Crush - Stephen Colbert - has withdrawn from the running, I am going to have to vote for my dad for president. Or at least consider his platform. I have added my comments:

National Health Insurance (fine, but I'm still not going to the doctor)

Retain Decedant Estate Tax - raise ceiling to $1.5 Mil (I was absent that day - I have no idea what this means)

Get out of Iraq (get into my car)

Increase Federal Govt/State support for passenger railroads (I have no idea why my dad loves Amtrak so much, but he is constantly nagging me to leave my car at home, and 'Take the Train!' to Portland.)

Pass immigration legislation that creates a path for illegals to seek citizenship (I'm not sure "illegals" is PC...and I'm pretty sure he just means Salma Hayek.)

Create guest worker program (I'm going to need more information on this)

Phase out sugar subsidy (WHAT?! I needs my sugar subsidized! This plan goes against everything I eat!)

Tax internet sales (e-bay, etc) (Have you been talking to Amazon about my shoe shopping?)

Put another woman or two on the Supreme Court (Any woman? I know he really likes Meredith from Grey's Anatomy. And Salma Hayek.)

I'm assuming he is kidding, but it looks like he has really given this some thought. And I have no doubt that his campaign song would be something by Frank Sinatra.

The important question, went to my mom. I asked how, as the First Lady, she planned to decorate the White House.

She just said: I'm sure I'll be very busy maintaining the grounds and filling all the bird feeders.

President Johnson had LadyBird; President Gretta's Dad will have BirdLady.