Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
I loved the idea, even though you may or may not recall my vehement rant/opposition to pretend gifts. Although that was really more of an opposition to PAYING for pretend gifts. If you are just randomly doling them out, they're good stuff. Good, pretend, stuff.
I'm even going to pretend-gift things to blogs I frequent, that don't know I'm frequenting. And they'll never know about the gifts. But I'll know. And so will Santa.
3 for 365 (Julia) - one thousand and ninety-five warm fuzzies, just in case your three daily good things don't always readily pop up in the next year.
A Painting A Day - galleries in New York, London, and Paris, where your works can be displayed and purchased for outrageous sums.
Couture Candy - the cell phone numbers of all the young Hollywood starlets, so you can ask them what they're really wearing.
Gallery of the Absurd - a Johnny Depp & Quentin Tarantino sandwich.
Gen X Theorist - more free time to post. I've been looking at that Nov. 16 one forever. Or at least since Nov. 16.
Gervorama - totally healthy blood, and long, thick eyelashes.
Go Fug Yourself/Fug Girls - all the fame, money and accolades you properly deserve; and definitely NOT leggings. You girls are hilarious.
Holy Candy - Limitless Starbucks gift card.
The I Can Haz Cheeseburger Cats - cheeseburgers, of course.
I Heart Fashion - Roger Vivier shoes, and a Narcisco Rodriguez dress.
I Watch Stuff - a plasma television set that covers one entire wall of your apartment, and a bucket of popcorn.
Idea of Progress - A literary agent & book deal, and sauna hot pants.
IHoB - The complete series of "Veronica Mars" on DVD, and your own comic book line.
Janet Charlton's Hollywood - Mary Hart's job.
Jezebel girls - birth control, and gift certificates to Toys in Babeland.
Kevin - bacon (hey! Kevin Bacon! totally unintentional!)
Kim - limitless frequent flier points so you can come back to the U.S. and visit whenever you want.
Krissi - A clone to go to work for you, so you can stay home all day and take photos of Amalia.
Life in a Venti Cup - an even bigger cup.
Lost in Wonder - NOT the Fascination Doll, that's for certain. The perfect man, so you can get out of purgatory.
Not Salmon - magic pills that eliminate Writer's Block.
Pistols at Dawn - SHOES! The idea that you only own one or two pair is making me bananas; boys with great shoes get a lot more attention from the ladies, trust me. And my mom would give you a hug - she says you need one.
Retail Recovery - A running column at W magazine.
Sarah's Sister (Lou) - guaranteed slot in Boston Marathon, and a washer/dryer.
Second City Style - unrestricted access to all designers' collections, before they launch.
Skyler's Dad - the complete collection of Joey Lawrence media/memorabilia.
Snarkywood - they're no longer "live", so they won't notice if I skip them.
Superficial - the actual rock-hard abs, and arms of titanium you're always blathering on about. And Hayden Panetierre's phone number.
Suzel - a 250-lb crocheted comforter. Oh wait! You might have one already. How about a pony, and a stableboy who resembles Cameron Mathison?
The Best Life Ever (Stacy & Kevyn) - what do you get the couple who has everything??? A big virtual Christmas hug.
The Sartorialist - Hermes leather fingerless gloves. It gets cold, photographing New York in the winter.
Two Dog Blog/Landis - a million dollar gift card to Bottega, as well as a humble getaway-cottage in China; and TGret coupons for doggy-sitting;)
Unsorted Mail - someone to sort the mail.
WendyB - some quality Girl Time with Coco, and a David-Yurmanesque ad campaign.
WhiskeyMarie - an all-expense paid trip to Scotland for some serious Whiskey-tasting, and Footie-pajamas, to complete your collection.
I am not getting anything for TMZ, even though they are on the blog-roll. I've been catching snippets of their show, and they are beyond annoying - following celebrities around with cameras, baiting and taunting them in attempts to get an incriminating sound-byte. Sheesh.
It's really only fun when they follow Britney. That girl pays ALL their salaries. And if she were giving out Christmas bonuses, they'd be in the form of Cheetos and Taco Bell Meximelts.
Anyhoo - thanks to all on the blog-roll who keep me entertained and happy. Enjoy your gifts!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Click on the links for slightly better entertainment:
*Marie Claire January Cover
*Maladies By Mail
Thank you, come again!
ummm p.s. people..Blake Lively is her real name..along with her other siblings..duh
Man, I am late to the party. But you are 100% right about the fact that it just matches you up with whoever's craning their neck like you were.Also, being on a show on the CW doesn't equal fame, so you're probably still more recognizable than "Blake Lively," which sounds like the fakest name since "Fakey McFakename."
October 12, 2007 8:36 AM
I LOVED Fakey McFakename on "the OC", and in that movie with the kid from "Desperate Housewives"!Except I think she has an eating disorder, is having one of K-Fed's babies, and is in rehab with Lindsay now.
October 12, 2007 9:28 AM
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
For those of you who don't watch "South Park", it's Mr. Hanky. The Christmas Poo.
Sister Ellie will love this. Friend Kerry will not.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I woke up this morning, and immediately thought "do I have any Vitamin C in the apartment?"
Kiwi will have to do.
Or do Chicken Fajitas have Vitamin C?
Saturday, December 15, 2007
And tonight, there's going to be more of all of the above.
Except I'm wearing these instead:
And then there will be more on Sunday...
'Tis the season! Although, with shoes, 'tis always the season. 'Tis, 'tis.
What do you mean "normal people don't take pictures of their shoes"?
Friday, December 14, 2007
(I was going to just do a normal, non-Christmasey post with this one, but then thought "WHY?")
The following photos are from the website, and were taken by Alison V. Smith and Jill Johnson, and have almost convinced me that kitties NEED wigs. Especially for the holiday parties:
Since these are smaller than normal wigs, they would work well as stocking stuffers. Kitty-stocking stuffers. If your kitty is wearing stockings, she is definitely a candidate for a Kitty Wig.
Merry Christmas, Mittens!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Mrs. Peabody threw back her head, her CASCADING LOCKS (for you, Pistols) shaking with mirth, and let out a hearty belly-laugh. That's right. A bowl-full-of-jelly belly laugh.
"P-Day!" she cried, with glee,"of course, refers to Christmas!" (more bowl-full-of-jelly belly laughing) "Presents Day anyone? It's so simple!"
And then she stopped, mid-belly laugh, as the man's eyes started to twinkle. His white moustache began to grow into a full beard, and his cheeks popped into cherry-like buds, and his belly expanded and began to shake.
Mrs. Peabody's eyes grew to saucer-size, and her jaw dropped to the floor, as Santa Claus stood before her, laughing and ho-ho-ho-ing.
He then asked if, next year, could she please bake the regular Christmas cookies, and not try to make them "low-fat" by substituting applesauce for the butter. APPLESAUCE for God's sake! They were so hard to eat with his bandaged hand - that spiteful Dasher had gotten a bit snippy at the last house, and boy is he going to be on shovel-duty for the next 100 houses.
Santa, then removed the cigarette from the orangutan's mouth. That orangutan was a gift for Mrs. Peabody's youngest daughter, and the cigarette was a dangerous fire hazard.
And then he reached into his sack, which had been carefully hidden by the black kitty cat, and pulled out a brand new pair of Christian Louboutin shooties for Mrs. Peabody.
She had been a very good girl that year.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
But I checked with my good friend, Google, and it doesn't appear that he does. A shame, really.
So, to set the tone for the Joey Lawrence story, we call Friend Christine "Hi Five". Because she does. All the time.
"Hey! Awesome score on those half-price Stuart Weitzmans! Hi Five!"
"Woo hoo! You got a raise? Hi Five!"
"Did you see that parking spot I got? Right out front! Hi Five!"
Urban Dictionary's "word of the day" today is "Wi-Five"
It's a high five that doesn't involve actual contact, normally over a long distance where a real high-five isn't possible. Mix of "wireless" and "high-five", hence "wi-five", (wireless high-five).
I guess we're officially Gamer-nerds now. Or something. Do people still play Dungeons & Dragons?
Anyway - Christine was pretty excited about this, and got a little carried away in her email response, and wrote something about "Wo-fiving" all of us. So I wanted to know if it was "wo-five" or "wi-five", and that "wo-five" should maybe be reserved for when you're really stoked about something. Like when Blossom starts dating one of the kids from Kriss Kross, and you'll totally be allowed backstage at the show.
(for those of you who did not watch too much television in the early 90s, "Blossom" was a television show - Joey Lawrence played Blossom's dim-witted older brother - and Joey's main catchphrase was "WHOA!")
Christine emailed this:
If you look closely, you'll see that the title of this smash album (single?) is "Nothin' My Love Can't Fix".
I was so thrilled with this. I have SO much crap that needs fixin!
- driver's side inside-door handle on my car is broken - I could probably take it to my mechanic, Carl, but Joey's love sounds slightly more reliable.
- lightbulb broke off in socket - Martha Stewart says some nonsense about crushing a potato or an apple up there, and the remaining pieces will miraculously come out, but I think Joey's love might be a better solution.
- TV remote control seems to have frizzled itself out - new batteries aren't helping - JOEY'S LOVE! COME ON OVER!
Tell me what you have that needs Joey's love, and we'll see what we can do about it.
Monday, December 10, 2007
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 Bottle Crown Royal
Sample the Crown Royal to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Crown Royal again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Crown Royal is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.
Turn off the mixer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.
Sample the Crown Royal to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Crown Royal. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of ar, or somefink.... whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the bottle of Crown Royal. Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Plenty of time to copy/paste yet another verbal puzzle from everyone's favorite travel agent, Imed:
"l have left word for Mr.Smith to call me w/in the hour and have him call his cc for extra 1k (15.854.74) the 1K to take care of 2/14/08 trsfer airport-hotel,2nts king non smk Marriott Hotel-Panama City incl bkfst,2/15/08 city tour, 2/16/08 transfer w/group to Sea Voyager. Then 1 extra night at the Hotel Melia Cariari 03/01/08 and transfer on 3/2/08 to airport and to include the extra insurance if needed to cover the little extra unless their $577.37 p.p. will include this!!"
I don't understand it any more than you do.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
But I was reading Pistols' post about a Kirsten Dunst sighting, and wanted to one-up him.
This weekend we stayed here:
For those unfamiliar, it was Troy Aikman, former Dallas Cowboys quarterback, and a bunch of other noteworthy things. Probably.