Friday, December 21, 2007

Happy Friday - Here's Your Crap

Suzel did a fantastic post today, dedicated to "gifting" presents to everyone on her blogroll. I got 3-4 hot guys, and some shoes. Awesome! Since it was "3 or 4 hot guys", I'm going to go with 4. It'll look better on the videotape in the photos.

I loved the idea, even though you may or may not recall my vehement rant/opposition to pretend gifts. Although that was really more of an opposition to PAYING for pretend gifts. If you are just randomly doling them out, they're good stuff. Good, pretend, stuff.

I'm even going to pretend-gift things to blogs I frequent, that don't know I'm frequenting. And they'll never know about the gifts. But I'll know. And so will Santa.

3 for 365 (Julia) - one thousand and ninety-five warm fuzzies, just in case your three daily good things don't always readily pop up in the next year.

A Painting A Day - galleries in New York, London, and Paris, where your works can be displayed and purchased for outrageous sums.

Couture Candy - the cell phone numbers of all the young Hollywood starlets, so you can ask them what they're really wearing.

Gallery of the Absurd - a Johnny Depp & Quentin Tarantino sandwich.

Gen X Theorist - more free time to post. I've been looking at that Nov. 16 one forever. Or at least since Nov. 16.

Gervorama - totally healthy blood, and long, thick eyelashes.

Go Fug Yourself/Fug Girls - all the fame, money and accolades you properly deserve; and definitely NOT leggings. You girls are hilarious.

Holy Candy - Limitless Starbucks gift card.

The I Can Haz Cheeseburger Cats - cheeseburgers, of course.

I Heart Fashion - Roger Vivier shoes, and a Narcisco Rodriguez dress.

I Watch Stuff - a plasma television set that covers one entire wall of your apartment, and a bucket of popcorn.

Idea of Progress - A literary agent & book deal, and sauna hot pants.

IHoB - The complete series of "Veronica Mars" on DVD, and your own comic book line.

Janet Charlton's Hollywood - Mary Hart's job.

Jezebel girls - birth control, and gift certificates to Toys in Babeland.

Kevin - bacon (hey! Kevin Bacon! totally unintentional!)

Kim - limitless frequent flier points so you can come back to the U.S. and visit whenever you want.

Krissi - A clone to go to work for you, so you can stay home all day and take photos of Amalia.
Life in a Venti Cup - an even bigger cup.

Lost in Wonder - NOT the Fascination Doll, that's for certain. The perfect man, so you can get out of purgatory.

Not Salmon - magic pills that eliminate Writer's Block.

Pistols at Dawn - SHOES! The idea that you only own one or two pair is making me bananas; boys with great shoes get a lot more attention from the ladies, trust me. And my mom would give you a hug - she says you need one.

Retail Recovery - A running column at W magazine.

Sarah's Sister (Lou) - guaranteed slot in Boston Marathon, and a washer/dryer.

Second City Style - unrestricted access to all designers' collections, before they launch.

Skyler's Dad - the complete collection of Joey Lawrence media/memorabilia.

Snarkywood - they're no longer "live", so they won't notice if I skip them.

Superficial - the actual rock-hard abs, and arms of titanium you're always blathering on about. And Hayden Panetierre's phone number.

Suzel - a 250-lb crocheted comforter. Oh wait! You might have one already. How about a pony, and a stableboy who resembles Cameron Mathison?

The Best Life Ever (Stacy & Kevyn) - what do you get the couple who has everything??? A big virtual Christmas hug.

The Sartorialist - Hermes leather fingerless gloves. It gets cold, photographing New York in the winter.

Two Dog Blog/Landis - a million dollar gift card to Bottega, as well as a humble getaway-cottage in China; and TGret coupons for doggy-sitting;)

Unsorted Mail - someone to sort the mail.

WendyB - some quality Girl Time with Coco, and a David-Yurmanesque ad campaign.

WhiskeyMarie - an all-expense paid trip to Scotland for some serious Whiskey-tasting, and Footie-pajamas, to complete your collection.

I am not getting anything for TMZ, even though they are on the blog-roll. I've been catching snippets of their show, and they are beyond annoying - following celebrities around with cameras, baiting and taunting them in attempts to get an incriminating sound-byte. Sheesh.

It's really only fun when they follow Britney. That girl pays ALL their salaries. And if she were giving out Christmas bonuses, they'd be in the form of Cheetos and Taco Bell Meximelts.

Anyhoo - thanks to all on the blog-roll who keep me entertained and happy. Enjoy your gifts!