Friday, January 18, 2008

Oh, Craig's List. Where do you find them?

I think Tad Safran may have a younger brother, and he lives in the Wicker Park neighborhood of Chicago.

"$500 WickerpPark - Hot Condo w/Parking - Female Roomate

Reply to:

Date: 2008-01-17, 11:33PM CST

Close to blue line, pretty much brand new condo. THree decks including a private roof deck. Blocks away from Blue line, North ave bus, and Western Ave bus.

I dont really need a roommate, but i would like a girl to live here. Dont worry about being messy or whatever, i have a cleaning lady come twice a month. Drinks fine. No smoking as i just quit. You can do whatever drugs you want in your room. If their good, you need to share... hahahah.

Im a professional and barely even here. Male, in good shape. 27 years old. I have everything, all you need is a bed and bedroom furniture.

Rent is $500.00 including utilites if you are AVERAGE looking meaning a 6 out of 10. Each point up towards 10, you can subtract $100.00. So if you think you are a 7, $350, 10- you pay $50.00. Same thing if it goes the other way. If you are a 1 or something, be ready to fork up $950 a month. I will obviously be the judge. If you want we can also pick three people off the street and get the average of the three. Oh, and the rent can change month to month (i.e. you sit around and eat doritoes with french onion dip everyday and gain 30 pounds, you better be ready to fork over some dollars).

How great of a person you are or your personality will have no bearing on your score. btw, no parties, not a lot of guests unless you are a 7 or above and your guests are equal or better females. good luck."

I know I should be most-bothered by the sentiment behind the ad, but I'm really just more annoyed at his lack of appropriate punctuation and abominable grammar. "I have everything", except a conscience, and a solid grasp of the English language.

The top of the page had this disclaimer: Stating a discriminatory preference in a housing post is illegal - please flag discriminatory posts as prohibited

And if you think I didn't take it upon myself to unleash my inner-tattletale, you're giving me far too much credit. Guys like this deserve to pay full price for their "hot condo"; I asked three people on the street, and the verdict was unanimous.