Sunday, March 30, 2008

British Bachelor

I've been really lax on the posting here - I'm busily scribbling over at Holiday Golightly, so blame them (us). But I just caught this and had to spread share the gossip.

Courtesy of TMZ:
If bachelor from "The Bachelor" Matt Grant marries one of the chicks from the show, it may have nothing to do with love. Turns out Matty boy -- a horny Brit -- recently met a cutie at a bar. Sadly, for him, it's someone who works for TMZ. He's been in touch with her on a pretty regular basis. A few days back, he told her he wanted to permanently move to the U.S. and his lawyer advised him, the best way to do it was to marry an American. Warning to skanks on the show who want to marry him -- he's gonna let you down (let you down), and leave you flat.


If there is one single person out there who is at all surprised by this...

I'm still going to watch the show.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Heads Up

Today is the 10th anniversary of Viagra.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

One More Clicky Please

Okay, all of my energies are being focused here:

Holiday Golightly

You go take a looksee. I'm too tired to double blog today:/

Saturday, March 22, 2008

My Self-Diagnosed Condition - Achargaphobia

After a spenderful trip to Amsterdam and London, I am now terrified of using my credit card. And I feel like, if I don't leave my apartment, I won't spend any more money.

Fear of leaving apartment + fear of spending money = Achargaphobia

(Regarding online shopping: I am only allowed to add things to my Wish List on Amazon - not the Shopping Cart).

So when I explain that I was watching the "Real Housewives of New York City" marathon,
you'll forgive me, right?

I totally got into it, and then wanted to find something online that explained more about the show, blah blah, and I stumbled upon Fans Of Reality TV and YIKES. Not enough scratching posts or litter boxes in the world.

If you are feeling catty and nasty and a little more catty, there is a forum for you. I had to
click through 8 pages of comments to find someone who actually had something positive to say about any of the housewives, or the show itself.

It was totally funny that multiple people were saying how much better the Real Housewives of the OC were.

Also funny were the people who said stuff like: I wish Bravo would give us something better to watch.

Okay, if you get Bravo, you get other cable channels. And you probably have a remote control, no? With buttons that say "Channel up" or "channel down"? Yes. The power lies in your hands. If you hate the show that much, just change the channel.

One commentor on that Fans site was all "I was shocked at how immature they were". That, unfortunately, IS reality. I used to have the naive idea that as people age, they also mature. This is sadly not the case, and I've experienced my fair share of peoples' inner-12-yr olds.

Honestly, I think if you only watch one episode, the housewives all seem unbearable. Try the marathon! I felt the same way about the NYC women, as I did about the OC women at first, but the more you watch, the more you get to know them. Well, "get to know them" in the TV sense, anyway.

They are just like any other social group in that there's jealousy, insecurity, friendship, loyalty, blah blah blah. I love these shows because they are basically studies in how people interact with one another.

And with the NYC ladies I can also shop vicariously without spending money. Or leaving the apartment.

Friday, March 21, 2008

My Break-Up With Marie Claire

I have questioned Marie Claire's loyalty to me (and her other subscribers) in the past, when the "special renewal" rate offered was, surprisingly, higher than those annoying little inserts that fall out of a new issue every time you turn a page.

Annoying insert for any random new subscriber: $12 for 1 year

MC "special renewal" rate for loyal current subscribers: $18 for 1 year

This is how Marie Claire shows her love for my years of patronage?

I noticed that I hadn't yet received the tired-looking Reese Witherspoon cover issue, but then grew more concerned when I did not receive the Jessica Alba cover issue, which was apparently a BIG FASHION ISSUE:

I was looking forward to that - I love that Dolce & Gabbana dress!

So, I was sitting and leafing through my filing cabinet, found the "subscriptions" folder, and lo and behold: bill for Marie Claire, for 2-yr subscription, paid May 2006.

Now, I'm no mathematician, but I'm thinking I should have at least received issues through April 2008...

I phoned Marie Claire's customer service line, gave my account number to the representative on the other end of the line, after which he said "no, the bill you paid in May 2006 was only for 15 issues, so your last issue was November".

I know that 15 issues does not equal the 24 issues I was promised, and I am completely fed up with the subscription discrepancy (say that 5 times fast) anyway.

I have decided that I will be too busy with Bazaar, InStyle, Vogue, and Elle...

Sorry, Marie who?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Member: Fierce, Fabulous, Flawless Fan Club

If you're a "Project Runway" fan, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, please go about your business.

I adore Christian Siriano. He was the MOST entertaining of all the contestants. Ever. And, he won! I love that.

His clothes were really gorgeous, and the fact that he lists Victoria Beckham as one of his idols, just makes him that much funnier.

In a WWD blurb, Christian said
that a woman he met at a fancy party asked him to make her wedding dress. "I took one look at her ring and was like "Let's go, girl!"

And then there was this:

"The skit was really really funny," Christian told PageSix. "Amy (Poehler) looked exactly like me which is kinda scary, but fabulous. The fact that they are even talking about me is so fierce, fabulous and flawless and is such an honor."

It is fierce, fabulous and flawless that he doesn't take himself too seriously. That is SO Hot Mess Tranny.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Things I Was Not Doing Tonight

1) I was NOT watching the new season of "Dancing With the Stars".

And I do not have a brand-new crush on some football player named Jason Taylor, whom I
had never heard of, but with whom all other football fans were undoubtedly familiar.

I said "whom" twice.

2) I was NOT thinking that Penn Jillette, yes, magician-with-ponytail Penn Jillette, was surprisingly cute and charming during his Cha-Cha.

3) I was NOT watching the new season of "The Bachelor".

It is positively absurd that this show is still being aired. And possibly more absurd that I am still watching it.

All those clamoring bachelorettes, in their loud, sequined dresses. It hurts my eyes.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


Please give me the 5 hours of my Sunday back.

And now my mom is doing it.


We can't stop.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Shoes, Shoes, Everywhere Dere Shoes

Amsterdam and London were fantastic, what with all the culture, and the interesting language (did you know the Dutch word for "store" is Winkle?), and the food, and the history. Blah blah blah, let's talk about SHOES!

Yes. Even on a semi-whirlwind travel extravaganza, I could not escape my Shoe Focus. And it has come to my attention that my current favorite shoes are being designed by Chloe.

Chloe, who thinks that they can charge twice as much as the other exorbitantly expensive designers do, without even adding feathers or platinum or secret chocolate compartments to the shoes.

Seriously. I think those white ones were like $900???

We were in some high end department winkle in Amsterdam and EVERY shoe I picked up, to say "OOOOH PRETTY!", was a Chloe shoe.

Stop the madness Chloe. Just go back to designing scary Pilgrim schoolmarm shoes, and no one gets hurt.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Fernando Does London

After a tearful farewell from his new betrothed, Fernando begrudgingly hopped back into my carry-on bag, and we were off to London.

London was outrageously expensive, as well as dizzyingly splendid. Fernando bought me this charming coat/dress/top/what-have-you:

and also paid for the room at the Soho Hotel. He said the IHoB corporate card offers MANY benefits.

I now want to move to London, and live in the Soho Hotel. Just like Eloise did at the Plaza. I have copied down the IHoB card #, so this is a viable possibility.

Although Fernando was incredibly generous and gracious, he was also a horribly tacky tourist. He made me photograph him in front of one of those red phone booths. I mean really. A phone booth? They have mobile phones in England, 'Nando.

And then Picadilly Circus, where he made the ever-hokey "This isn't a circus!" comment - loudly enough for passers-by to hear.

Changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace? Check.

When he started barking "I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET OVER TO THE LEFT, HONEY!" I had to slap my hand over his snout.

Big Ben! Parliament!

And what would a Fernando outing be without a bevy of birds and a bottle of booze?

(l to r: TravelGretta, TravelSally, TravelCard, TravelAllison and TravelKerry - Fernando is face-down in the beer)

Travel changes everyone, and Fernando is no different. He is now even more open-minded, and tolerant, and has become quite the dandy-dresser. TravelCard made a gold kerchief for him, and he has yet to take it off. He says it makes him feel like the dog's bullocks. I have no idea what that means.

He is now on his way back to McGone, with a few souvenirs, and many fond memories. And, possibly a phony British accent.


I'll miss him so!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Fernando Does Amsterdam

But not in the way you'd think. He didn't realize the exchange rate was so abysmal, and therefore did not have sufficient funds to frequent the Red Light Ladies, and get baked at the coffeeshops, as he had hoped.

TravelGretta and TravelSally...

had other plans for him.

Oh yes. He went shoe-shopping:

but he did not permit me to buy these Etro boots, as they were not quite as practical as the Giuseppe Zanotti astronaut pumps - THAT WERE TOTALLY ON SALE (99 Euros at the "laast day sale")- or Sally's Givenchy flats:

And we made him go to the museums. He kept grumbling that he didn't want to be a "cultured ham", but we ignored him.

He made out with Sally on the canal cruise, which was mildly embarrassing.

And then explored his sexuality a bit, with our friend Steve...

But the real intrigue blossomed when we all went out to dinner; Steve, me, Sally and Steve's girlfriend, Fernanda.

And no, I'm not kidding. FERNANDA.

Much to Steve's chagrin, Fernando and Fernanda hit it off immediately, and Fernanda didn't even mind Fernando's excessive drinking.

They are now engaged.

McGone, I'm not sure how you want to handle this. I am sending The Ladies' Ham back to you today, and he is going to be pining for his true love. You may want to have some vodka and hankies handy.

(Ed note: we will continue our travel extravaganza tomorrow, when Fernando Does London. Stay tuned...)

p.s. I missed all my blog friends! How is everyone????

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Happy Birthday Dad!!!

Fernando and I are back from Amsterdam and England, and we will be posting about our adventures, later.

But, for now, we will be stuffing ourselves with dad's birthday cake.

(ed note: this is not dad's birthday cake, but you should go check out for pretty cakes!)