Monday, March 17, 2008

Things I Was Not Doing Tonight

1) I was NOT watching the new season of "Dancing With the Stars".

And I do not have a brand-new crush on some football player named Jason Taylor, whom I
had never heard of, but with whom all other football fans were undoubtedly familiar.

I said "whom" twice.

2) I was NOT thinking that Penn Jillette, yes, magician-with-ponytail Penn Jillette, was surprisingly cute and charming during his Cha-Cha.

3) I was NOT watching the new season of "The Bachelor".

It is positively absurd that this show is still being aired. And possibly more absurd that I am still watching it.

All those clamoring bachelorettes, in their loud, sequined dresses. It hurts my eyes.