Upon arrival at my loverly hotel, Das Tyrol, on the shopping (naturally) street, Mariahilferstrasse, I was presented with a small package bearing my name. It was also bearing this customs form:
That is correct. Whiskeymarie sent me "1 plastic pig" and "1 miniature martini glass". Fernando has arrived! I was so happy to see his little piggy face, and squeeze his little plastic body. He seemed more interested in finishing his martini and relaxing in the hotel robe and slippers.
He also wanted to be taken, immediately, to the hotel's spa for some "much needed R&R". He did nothing but complain about his "long flight, in coach", and then the "weeks spent in the hotel's front desk drawer", blah blah. I obliged, and we went down to the spa. 'Nando tried to do a little tanning, but I yanked him right out of there.
I think he must have only seen the first half of The Family Guy's "Tan Stewie" episode. I said "Do you want to be crispy bacon?", and he sulkily said "no." I pointed out that we were here to have a nice, fun vacation, and suggested he just lounge a bit and do some breathing exercises.
That seemed to help. Jet lag is tough on all of us. Not to mention, he has probably been detoxing from all the time spent with Whiskeymarie. We'll get a good night's sleep and check out Vienna together tomorrow.