Friday, July 2, 2010

C'est Si Bon

What to do with my vacation time? WHAT TO DO??? We get six weeks of summer break (no, I do not expect any pity here). However due to tax regulations I can only be stateside for three of them. I am thus forced to spend the remaining three weeks elsewhere. This summer "elsewhere" will be the French Riviera (am still not expecting pity, but will let you know if I require it at a later time).

After muddling through a week in Paris, last March, with my Flight of the Conchords French ("Oui oui! Baguette! Gerard Depardieu! Camembert!") I decided that I loved France enough to want to communicate with the natives in their mother tongue (insert sophomoric joke about "tongue" and "French kissing"), and in full sentences. I will be spending just over two weeks in Nice, Antibes and Cannes strolling the beaches, sipping wine, dipping everything in brie, and, most importantly, studying French. Or, wait, maybe the "most importantly" is the wine...

I have completely romanticized the Cote d'Azur into an absolute utopia (should that be capitalized?) by repeatedly, and obsessively, watching these two films:

LOOOOOOOVE THEM!!!! I have said, on numerous occasions, that if I could live anywhere in the world it would be the fictional town of Beaumont sur Mer, from "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels".

I am currently imagining that 1950s Cary Grant will pick me up at the Aeroport Nice Cote d'Azur, in the borrowed sparkly-blue Sunbeam/Talbot Alpine roadster, and whisk me off to the Rotonde casino to con hapless billionaires out of their fortunes. We will then drive up along the winding cliff-side road to find an appropriate spot for our picnic, which will include wine, brie and (for some reason) cold chicken. I will be draped in an elaborate Edith Head-designed ball gown and dripping in Cartier diamonds.

My vacation is going to be le merde!