Saturday, December 18, 2010

Calgon Wasn't Enough

Winter is oftentimes a challenge. Winter in the Pacific Northwest is always a challenge. Faced with the upcoming Portland forecast of "rain", "showers", "light rain", and "heavy rain", I decided to get out of town in order to preserve my waning sanity. Because outside it was waining heaviwy.


I selected the Red Mountain Resort & Spa because not only was it in dry, sunny Southwestern Utah, but it also offered fitness classes, healthy food, and you know - spa stuff. I had adopted the Holiday Cookie Diet, which was doing no one any favors, and my pants were beginning to complain loudly underneath the muffin top.


(NBC Universal is not being very share-y, and will not allow me to post Jenna's "Muffin Top" video. It's #1 in Israel and Belgium. This image was the closest I could find, and "whole gain" is supposed to say "whole grain". Reference fail.)


Portland-L.A.-Las Vegas and then a 2 hour rental-car drive to Ivins (Utah). The Red Mountain Spa was enjoying one of their down-weeks, and I was one of only ten guests at a resort offering "82 beautifully designed rooms and 24 Villa Suites". Fantastic! (they are typically crazy-busy Thanksgiving week, Christmas through New Years, and happy-busy between March and October).

For four days I took fitness classes, I enjoyed healthy, delicious meals, I spent time in the steam room, and I even did a Shaman Life Path Reading (which, frankly, didn't really tell me anything new about my life path, but it was still an interesting experience) - all whilst being surrounded by cacti, sagebrush, lava fields, and the resort's namesake Red Mountains (probably not their official title).

I returned saner, happier and the muffin top is now more of a pancake, which will (I vow) then shrink to a tortilla, and then dissolve into nothing that can be rolled into a snack. I just needed the kick-start, and the brief respite from the weather.

WELCOME WINTER! I'm ready for you now.