Sunday, December 4, 2011

Vicarious Movie Travel

I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, but I shore is goin' places on muh teevee. Turner Classic Movies continues to expand my (unnecessary) familiarization with old-timey movies, and I commented, to no one in particular, "Hey, a lot of these old-timey movies take place on ships". (My dad mistakenly took that as an invitation to one of his long-winded explanations about how, in those days, ship travel was the way most people..."No!" I shouted, "It was just an observation!" I had to cut him off. I was missing precious snappy dialogue.)

Today I sailed on the S.S. Queen Anne from Southampton to New York with Myrna Loy and William Powell in "Libeled Lady", from 1936.

Don't be fooled by the poster, the movie was a classic black & white. I curse the people who colorize the classics. It looks wrong. Like your two-year old got into your rouge and powder and smeared it all over the filmstrip.

If you love fashion, but think "I don't like black & white movies", you need to re-evaluate your likes and dislikes, toute suite. Oh my God, everything Jean Harlow wore had fur sleeves, including her nightgown.

Never mind that Ms. Harlow forgot her bra for the duration of the film, the clothes were astounding. Each new scene had me blurting out things like "Fur sleeves!" and "Her dress matches the furniture!" and "Why is she still not wearing a bra?"

She's on the phone to the costume department, asking the same question.

I watch a lot of old movies, and often find myself wondering "How did they get their hair like that?"

People put effort into it back then. Jean Harlow and Spencer Tracy were not on the ship, though, let's get back to that.

I mean, the hats alone warrant a celebration. Black tie and gowns for dinner. And more fur!

This was not a Carnival Cruise.

Eventually they disembarked, but the fashion kept coming.

I think those were real flowers on her dress.

I don't know how I have lived this long without having seen this movie. It was hilarious, clever, entertaining, and insane with the fashion. Maybe I should spend less time traveling, and more time on the couch with TCM.